a change is gonna come

here comes a change.

Jens accepted a job offer in Berlin.  We're moving!

We have a few weeks here to wrap up at work and pack up our lovely apartment.  Then, we travel.  Our last day of work will be November 1 (since Friday the 2nd is a Ghanaian holiday).

The plan so far:
A week in Ghana, seeing some sights.  I've never even left the south of the country.
4-6 weeks doing we're-not-sure-what. Certainly looking for a place to live in Berlin.
A week or two with J's family over Christmas.
Get to Berlin.  New year, new job, new phase of life!

He's leaving his 5-year-strong employer for an exciting startup.  I'm leaving my job here and trying for something completely different.  Details are yet to be determined.

Naturally I'm excited-and-scared.  Berlin was a dream of mine just a few months ago.  After we visited Germany in August, I realized my German was pretty darn good, and that (southwest) Germany (in summer) was nice.  I had a week of family and a couple days of shopping.  And somehow, that translated into "Let's Live Here!" (or somewhere nearby.)

Now I'm nervous (of course) because I haven't ever used German for extended periods of time.  At least with French, I have 1 1/2 hours of chatting every week in my class-of-one at work.  It's hard work, and my French has dramatically improved in confidence and fluency.  It has to, when I'm the only student in the class.  With German, though I sat in class four nights a week, I could cruise through an hour of class without speaking.

I'm sad to leave the community here.  I'm nervous about going from a country where everything is relaxed to one that couldn't be more uptight unless they were Swiss.  In Ghana, if something doesn't happen as expected, it's God's plan.  It will happen in God's time.  In Germany, I don't think things are that simple.  On the one hand, things WORK much more often and much more easily.  On the other, sometimes it's very nice to be laid-back.

I'm nervous because I'm leaving an office with people I like.  A place I know.  Year-round warm climate - still haven't gotten tired of that.  And we'll be jumping straight into the middle of winter!

I'm nervous because I was in bad health when we left Ireland but have been almost cold-free since we moved here.  Did I catch those colds because of the temperature in Ireland, and will I get them again in winter in Germany?  Was it just the horrible AC units at my job in Dublin?  Was it the weather fluctuations, changing 10 degrees within 5 minutes?  What will it be like in Germany?

My manager and I told the rest of my department at our weekly meeting 2 weeks ago.  People were quite surprised.  It's only been "potentially real" in my head for the last 3 weeks, too!  Less than a month ago is when J was in Germany for the last interview.  Before that it was still hazy.  It was only two weeks ago that he signed his new contract.  We always thought we'd leave within the next year - but not within the next month.

I found a note from the Head sitting in my departmental inbox, accepting my resignation.  Touchingly, she wished both me and Jens the best.  I don't use "touchingly" lightly - I really was moved by her taking that little step to confirm his name, spell it right, personalize my note.  And most amusing was that she got Jens's name right, but completely missed the ball on the date of my resignation letter.  Someone else must have resigned on January 12, because that's what's on my note.

These are the types of things that will happen in Ghana, and in this context it's charming.  In Germany it would be unthinkable.

We've already started packing up the house, organizing books into keep and give/sell piles, and I'm throwing away almost all of my two years' worth of accumulated German notes.  But keeping the textbooks.  Here goes.

the Day of Atonement

It's that time of year again.  Yom Kippur.  The day when nothing but prayers and air pass our lips for 25 hours.

This means settling in for a night of worries.  Did I eat enough beforehand?  Did I drink enough?  When will the first pangs hit?  Will I get a headache this year?  Does my throat feel dry already?!  Do I feel bad for turning on the computer and breaking the chag?

How long can I hold off peeing so I don't feel like I'm losing all my water?

What time does the dream come where I wake up in the morning and absentmindedly drink a glass of water?  Every year I have that dream!!

Along with the bigger questions, such as: Did I offend anyone?  Have I truly repented for the sins I've committed in the past year?  Have I asked forgiveness from everyone who I can possibly think of?

One of my favorite quotes on religion and forgiveness goes like this:
What we remember, God forgets.  What we forget, God remembers.

When we remember our sins and ask forgiveness for them, God will "forget" them and not hold them against us.  But when we remember our good deeds and gloat about them, they become less important to God.
When we forget the good deeds we've done, God will use them as credit to our names.  But when we forget the bad things and don't repent for them, God remembers those.

Inspiration to live a modest and meaningful life.

With that, I'm going to turn off the machine, crack open a book and try not to think of food or water.

trip report.

our trip was decidedly not a vacation.

For two weeks we met with friends, went to appointments, attended weddings, planned our own; discussed, reunited, celebrated, prepared, shopped.

Things we did not do:
relax
cook
spend lots of time in any one place with any one person (including each other)

We got so much stuff done on this trip. It came at the expense, though, of a lot of time for personal connections. I'm returning to work feeling disoriented, and not just because my body thinks it's still 1 in the morning. I was looking forward to buying some specialty groceries, and I had promised to cook for my parents.

We only cooked four times on this trip. One was breakfast and two were last-minute pasta dinners. We didn't spend long periods of time with ANYONE, which feels like we were denying ourselves and them a rare chance of hanging out. I didn't have any time to browse shops, though I did get to rush around 3 stores for 2 hours looking for wedding shoes. even that didn't work - my mom ended up finding & ordering the winning pair online.

What we DID do:
We touched ground on 4 continents within 24 hours.
I met a long-time internet friend in person for the first time.
Had dinner and beers with friends who used to live in Accra.
I got a great curly haircut.
Celebrated the weddings of two couples dear to my heart, and saw an old friend for the first time in 5 years.
Spent nearly 3 full days planning our wedding. The planner we hired is great.
Drove to/from the Denver airport 5 times in 3 days. I received and resized my wonderful custom engagement ring.
Tasted some gorgeous buffalo and a moist carrot cake.
I found my wedding dress!! shoes, too.

all in all... tradeoffs were made and I'm not happy about all of them -- but we got a LOT done which we won't have to worry about in the wedding-timeline countdown now.

the festival of noise

Every year around August, Homowo sweeps through Accra.  Translated as "hooting at hunger," this month-long (!!!) festival commemorates the end of a famine some time back in history.  Every night it shifts to another neighborhood.  And the point of the thing is to make as much noise as possible.

I haven't slept well for ages, and was planning to take it easy tonight so I could catch up on some rest.  But when I got home from work I saw TWO houses on our block had set up huge tents, and had cars parked all over.  House guest informed me the music's been going on "a long time" already.

I think my plan's gonna be really difficult.

Crap.


edit, the next day -- it ended at midnight, not too bad in the scheme of things.  better than that time the music went until 2AM in March.  This time, my attitude was much better, too: "I can't change them, so I'll just relax and try my best to sleep through it until it stops."  I did drift in and out of sleep for about 2 hours.  Better than getting myself allll worked up for something I don't have a hope of changing.

unbelievable

I heard about an hour ago about a shooting in an Aurora theater, very close to home.  They were having a midnight screening of the new Batman movie when a gunman set off a smoke or tear gas canister and opened fire; current numbers are 15 dead and 50 injured.

First question is why this guy was able to have 3 guns; why are guns legal?
Second thought is I'm worried I won't feel safe in any public space in the US any more.
Third thought: he was shooting what witnesses said was "random."  Why?  What could you possibly prove by doing this?

Not to mention, I have friends who are midnight-screening types, and God, I hope they are okay.  I hope they weren't there.

I can't focus at work any more... may end up calling today a wash overall, just trying to do as much as I can. Not much.

car!

We have our car back with a new engine!  It only cost us an extra 1/3 of the price they originally told us.  Even at the dealership, you can always be sure they will neglect to tell you that your repair needs an extra 500 cedis' worth of parts and labor, which wasn't mentioned to you at all until the day the car was ready.

The engine runs well, anyway, but we are bringing it back because the steering wheel steers crooked (not the car's wheels, just the steering wheel).  They say they can do that repair in a day.  Here's hoping.

The weather's nice nowadays; cool in the mornings and evenings and very manageable during the day.  We're gearing up for our visit to Europe next week - we leave Thursday night and I'm really excited.  We're spending a 24-hour layover in Istanbul seeing the sights. Then I'll be looking at wedding dresses in Dublin and going to a wedding in Germany.  A month later we're off to Toronto, two weddings in the States and a four-day whirlwind planning trip for our own next May.

Work has offered me a new contract and a raise.  All I gotta do now is get my life settled down enough to get blogging again and start planning our wedding...!

a conversation of horns

Yesterday two drivers had a conversation, entirely with their car horns.  It went like this:

 

Car 1 swerves into the other lane to avoid stopped cars -- into car 2's path.

Car 2: BEEEEP BEEEEP!

Car 1: Be-beep.

 

Car 2 swerves into car 1's lane to avoid stopped tro-tros in the right lane. 

Car 1: BEEP, BEE-BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

Car 2: BEEP BEEP BEEP!  BE-BEEP BEEP!

Car 1: Beep beep beep beep!

 

Translation:

Car 2: Watch it!  You're about to hit me!

Car 1: Sorry o.

 

Car 2 swerves.

Car 1: Watch it yourself!  Hypocrite!

Car 2: Hey, serves YOU right for almost hitting me.

Car 1: I'll show you, you uppity little so-and-so!

 

 

I promise, this is exactly how it went.

birthday :)

J says odd-numbered years are good years.

Monday was my birthday!  Though the day started out sleepy, by morning all was well.  We went out for dinner at the Italian restaurant at the polo club.

The best part was that for one day, all those street roosters, with their four-note cock-a-doodles, were singing "Happy birthdaaay!  Happy birthday!"

The car was good for two weeks, went fuzzy again last Thursday, was away until this morning - and needs to go away again.  It's not fixed.  I'm frustrated, but remaining relaxed.

I have a cavity and had to see the dentist.  It's a complicated case in my crooked last molar so he put in a temporary filling and I'm going back in a month.  He also doesn't trust the root canal work I had done in January by another dentist here, but I think I'll leave that and just hope it actually was sufficient.  And that other dentist does have a good strong reputation with expats here, too.

I got notice from the Employment Appeals Tribunal in Dublin that I've been given a hearing date at the end of May.  Working hard to postpone that to my visit at the end of July.  Keep your fingers crossed; I only have five working days to apply for a postponement!

Last but CERTAINLY not least, I'm finished with German classes - forever, if I want to be.  I had my C1 test on Saturday, and Monday, and Thursday.  (Technical difficulties.)  Only two of us made it past the written to take the spoken test on Thursday, and we both passed!

this is Osu, o...

loud dance party music last night until 1:15 AM.  Usually these crazy parties will shut down at 10:00 out of respect for the neighbors (unless they're funerals, which only happen on weekends - not Tuesdays.  Not this one.  It was three or four blocks away but sounded like it was in our backyard.  The weirdest thing is, yesterday was a holiday but today's a working day again.  Shouldn't the party have happened on the evening before the holiday?

My last remaining question is, with so much exposure to music that's so loud, how is it that I haven't heard anything about hearing problems in Ghanaians?

assumptions

Can I talk about something that bothers me, as an expat?

The assumption that what you say will apply to my situation.  "Privilege," some people call it.  The assumption that you'll easily be able to follow the suggestions.  That anything they say is matter-of-fact and can be done or found without effort.

I've seen pieces on racial privilege, ableist privilege, gender privilege, and others.  An example of racial privilege: "When I look for makeup, 'flesh' color most often matches or is close to my skin tone."  Ableist privilege: "I can assume I'll be able to easily enter and move around any building I want to go into."  Gender privilege: "The default gender pronoun matches my gender."  That is to say, when people don't know someone's gender they will assume "he" more often than "she" most of the time.  Gender privilege.

I call this next one "first-world privilege" or, more specifically, "suburban privilege."

I have some books from the States full of tips and tricks to stay organized.  Many of the suggestions are great.  But others - let me throw a few out there for you.

"Put important to-dos at the bottom of the stairs."
"Keep documents you always need in the front seat of your car."
"Donate it to the nearest charity."
"Don't store cereal in plastic storage containers.  It comes in a perfectly good box, so use that."
"Only buy what you have on your shopping list when you go to the grocery store."


My spacious apartment only has one story.  What stairs do I use?

For nearly a year, we had no car.  Living in Dublin, we never had a car for three years.  Where do I keep my documents then - with my taxi driver?  In my bike basket?

The charities they talk about in these books are the ones that sell clothes for the secondhand market here.  The best I can think of in Accra is to go hawk this stuff at Makola myself.   As if that doesn't create even more stress than giving these things away!

It's so humid here, yesterday we had tortilla chips go stale in two hours.  If it's not the humidity, it's the ants or the weevils.  No, I can't save myself the time and hassle on cereal storage.  Nor any spice, flour, sugar, snack or condiment.  If anything here isn't sealed, it's bug food within hours.  So spare me the lecture on how I can save time when I'm living a daily battle against ant takeover.

Stores here are pretty good nowadays, but there are always gaps.  They don't always have chicken breasts, or cream, or canned tomatoes, or fresh herbs.  You have to buy what's available in case you can't find it when you need it next week.  You don't make a meal plan and shop for it; you make suggestions, go shopping, then make a meal plan based on what the store actually had.


Once our roommate needed to send her passport by Fed Ex to get a visa.  The agent from her work's HQ in the States said, "Just go to your nearest post office, they'll have a Fed Ex counter there."  Are you kidding?  Does she know there aren't even letter boxes on the streets?  To mail anything you really do need to go to the post office, buy the stamps, and put it in their post box.  There are no other places to put letters in the mail.  I've been waiting for the key to my PO box for 10 months.  I have bigger worries at my post office than the Fed Ex counter.


Any time a site says "Stop into your local XYZ."  They don't have 'em here.


I'll add more examples as I come up with them.

more confusion.

Well, I've got my residence permit.  Six months after applying, I have a work permit and a residence permit which allows me to work on my work permit.  My case is unusual, but at the same time not so crazy that it should have taken six months.  The bottom line is I had a valid residence permit already which technically didn't allow me to work - but I had a work permit on paper which overruled that.  So the immigration office saw no rush in giving me a fresh one - and to some extent, I didn't either.

The mechanic has just reported that our car is running fine, except for some small vibrations in the engine.  He still wants to find a new head for the car and replace it - but he's bringing the car back to me today.  He'll want to take it back once he finds a new head.  I'm thinking - what's a vibration when we don't know whether we'll be here after another year or so?  It's chivalrous of the guy not to charge me before the work's complete, but I'd like my debt with him to be settled so we can be back in control of the car - then give it back to him if need be and pay him for whatever work arises after that.

Also, we have been making plans to go on a "cruise" boat trip in the Volta Region next weekend.  That's a two-hour drive each way and I do want to make sure the car's up for that.  If not we'd have to look for public transportation.  It's very hard to make plans when you're not sure they'll be possible.  If the car shouldn't be driving for two hours straight on this warped head, I want to know that, and I don't know if I trust this mechanic's word one way or the other.

Anyway, I do have my residence permit, which is a huge burden off of my shoulders.  And we might have a working car again.

stress

very stressed lately.

car woes, as previously mentioned.  latest word from the mechanic (as of yesterday) is they can't repair the cylinder head we have, and have to find a new one.  which they haven't been able to do for the past two weeks.  but he promises it'll be ready before next weekend.  let's just SEE how that one works.

political tension.  a few nights ago, a local politician called on Ashantis to "butcher" any Ga or Ewe tribe members who walk into their stores, with machetes, because he claims the new biometric voter registration is excluding the Ashantis.  He was arrested for treason and called out for incitement to genocide.  Riots ensued.  There is still a lot of tension where his supporters gather at the police headquarters, a quarter mile from my work, where he's being held.

bad sleep last night.  the half-finished house across the street received a shipping container yesterday.  more precisely, AT 11:00 P.M.  Eight men were yelling directions (clearly, all of them very necessary) to the truck driver, who had to back this cargo up directly to the front door of the house.  "BRA BRA BRA! [come come come!] STOOOOP!"  This went on for 15 minutes and woke up the neighborhood chickens, who started groaning about it every 4 seconds for the next half hour.  Then at 3 AM, the truck engine started back up - huge engine, big noise, awoken neighbors - and left.

And this is the second time that's happened this month.


wedding planning.  we can't agree.  Fiance and I and my parents have been discussing for six weeks and haven't found any conclusion on a venue for the date we want which is big enough to fit all potential guests and isn't just a big white box and has tasty food (after all, we are both foodies and this is a big thing for us).  and trying to come to terms with the fact that my mother's guest list is at the moment more than half the expected guests.

if we can't find anywhere to do it in CO, I am thinking it might be better to do something lower-key in Germany.  they have mountains and castles in fiance man's part of the country.  not bad.

sometimes I think it's not worth any of this stress and that fiance man and I should hightail it down to the registrar's office in Accra, sign ourselves a Ghanaian marriage certificate and send happy-tidings postcards in lieu of invitations.
but then I think of what I'd be missing out on, and how the wedding industry has in fact permeated a few corners of my brain, and I realize it'd be really hard to do that.

work has calmed down, at least.

car woooooes

we bought a car from J's coworker in January.  It's a 2006 Nissan and it had only been driven in Ghana for a year before we got it.

I don't think she had this many problems, but it's basically imploded on us in the past few months.

First we took it to a mechanic who ripped us off in ways and quantities I don't want to mention.  Then we found a guy who works on a lot of the cars at my workplace.  I got a good vibe from this guy from the first time I met him, and I figured he has a reputation to uphold; if he messes with one car at my office, he'll lose all his other customers there.

Well, he's needed the car two days here, a week there, and when he brought it back after that week, he told me the repairs weren't finished and he needed it another week.  That was last week.

Cut to Thursday morning, when the car wouldn't stay running after it started.  It turned over, caught, ran for a few seconds and then just died.  I panicked, all the other professional drivers waiting outside my building for their own clients took a look at it, revved the engine, listened to the noises, watched the motor, diagnosed new fuel injectors.  I dragged the mechanic to my house to come look at it because I couldn't get it going.

Of course, magically, it started perfectly for him.

It still needs that one-week repair he talked about before... but he doesn't have that part in yet.  So first he has to get the car to start, and then after that, I guess we have to wait around for the part to arrive.

It's really frustrating having a car here...


EDITING, MAY 2:
One of the drivers at Fiance Man's office brought it to a mechanic he knows in Tema.  Turns out Mechanic #2 took the engine apart and put it back together wrong.  The car runs better than ever.  Mechanic #3 also cleaned everything, from the engine to the oil to the seats, and for a good price, too.  We'll stick with this guy for any future problems, I'd say!

Utilities gone mad

Lately we've had power outages more and more regularly.  Last night the power went out in the evening, came back 2 hours later for half an hour then went back off again - another citywide outage, and some say countrywide.  It happened last week and probably while we were away on vacation as well.

 

We've also got no water running to our house.  This is the case at our house, my coworker also in Osu, and my workplace in North Ridge (2-3 miles away).  Probably others, too.

 

I wonder what's up... 

 

The weather's been funky, too; it's hot season now, sure, I get that.  But hot season follows Harmattan and is supposed to give us clear skies, while we've had all-day cloud cover since J and I returned.  (Can't call him BF any more, and F is already my initial!) 

Rainy season is supposed to start next month, so we shouldn't be seeing clouds.  But the only Blue Skies I see are the bottles of local pineapple juice! 

 

Trying to think about wedding dresses, venues, guest lists, and get this wedding planning started from afar.  Most search results I've come up with on "planning weddings from abroad" give results about destination weddings.  I'm totally the opposite: I am living in a "destination" (so to speak) and want to plan a wedding "at home!"  How?!

 

Also - me?  in a white dress?  doing that whole bride thing?  I still can't imagine it for myself.  I guess there's still time to adjust to that between now and next spring...

Ghanniversary

Today marks a year since we arrived in Ghana for good!  We just got back from a ten-day trip to Mauritius and the Seychelles, during which we got engaged.  Two very nice ways to mark such an occasion. 

 

Returning to Ghana from East Africa, things here seem messier - roads are rougher, the language less precise.  It's dusty (still!) and the weather is warmer.  It's home!

On Language

Language in this part of the world is fascinating, and I can say that without reserve.

 

The English language came to stay so many decades ago, but didn't develop in parallel with the colonizing country even though they stayed in charge.

 

You'll still find fragments of antique English in use today; people "alight" from taxis (and don't understand when you ask to "get off" or "get out").  Formal letters continue to "hereby" declare, submit, and request.  My "good office" is "implored" to "do the needful."  People ask, "Will you keep long?" when they want to know if you'll be quick doing an errand.  And as for conditional sentences, more than once I've been asked, "If you were to be" a so-and-so, "supposing you did" something, and all sorts of constructions much more complexicated than the American "if" that passes in every situation nowadays.

 

Just a quick post to let you know I'm still going.  More is happening in my cooking blog.... by which I mean, I post there at least every two or three weeks...

being thankful.

Today I would like to thank:

 

1. Madame Redeemer at the Ghana immigration office for smiling and calming me down.  I get nervous when I talk to officials.

2. Rejoice in the kitchen at work for dashing me baking chocolate for dessert.  It is helping me get through the day!

3. Louise, my desk-neighbor, for the Vitamin C - another source of energy.

4. My aunt, uncle, cousin and cousin-in-law-to-be for their exciting and fun-filled visit.

 

I submitted my work permit application today, one year to the day after being issued my residence permit for Ireland.  It's surreal the places life brings you.

 

Work's crazy; we're trying to figure out the smoothest way to reach the extra 1000-file target.  The path's full of backtracks, parallel ways, and inconsistencies.  It'll smooth out in a while; just wish I was part of the smooth-ed and not the smooth-ing stage.  It's so frustrating to hear four different instructions in the same day!

 

Snags in my system include the hair stylist who I finally got in touch with today - but she is going away for a month starting tonight.  No haircut this weekend.  I guess I'll wait another month for the new style... making 11 months from one haircut to the next!  Another snag is that both taxi drivers who I wanted to take my family to the airport tonight are unavailable, and we'll end up having to find someone on the road who'll undoubtedly charge more.  OH WELL!  Such is life sometimes and you can't do anything but smile, because getting fed up doesn't help anybody.

Back!

Updates:

 

Two weeks' vacation in Germany with a quick break to Belgium meant I was able to use my German skills and even French for a couple of days.  I was blown away by my own German level - able to hold conversations - often simplified, sometimes halting, but nearly always able to convey my point without a word of English for support.  I went clothes shopping in German, chatted about family stories in German, discussed menus in German, and even watched a few TV shows in German. 

 

Every day was a new reward.  Realizing that I could do SO MUCH in another language, which I only started learning two years ago (!) and still had plans to improve on... made me realize that living there would be possible if I wanted to.  I just gotta get a hold on some of those dialects!  First things first: BF's local dialect, Badisch, which practically speaking doesn't use the genitive (the possessive case, and the one I'm most confident with.  Phooey.)

 

Still waiting to find out my German test results from December, but I anticipate I'll be going back to the Goethe starting next week for the C1 (first advanced level) class so I'm not in a big rush to find out.

 

Just minutes ago, I finally got my very own security pass printed at work.  I've been working here since the end of September, but was the first new hire since the computer crashed - and when I say "the" computer, I mean the only one that has the security pass printing software and equipment.  I feel a bit more "permanent," having a personalized pass with my photo on it rather than a "Visitor, Unescorted" badge.  Next step towards permanence is to get my work permit finalized; they're waiting for me in the permit office tomorrow, where I went today forgetting about the application fee I need to submit with the application!

 

I returned from holidays and got ahold of a new phone, which is a quick and shiny gadget but not fundamentally different from my other phone.

 

And finally, my family is visiting!  Aunt, uncle, cousin and cousin's fiance are all staying in our place until Wednesday.  It's a very lucky thing we have so much space at our house.  We're sleeping seven people at the moment, though two are consigned to a mattress in the living room.  The family is a great source of fun.  We're playing Charades tonight: a family tradition.  I wonder if BF or roommate will participate?